Feeeee-NOM-inall! You crushed this story, and have made me a big fan. This is such a well-crafted story: the pacing is excellent, the characters are believable, the dialogue is great — it’s a superb story. You should be very proud of this one. My only advice is to go back in and edit the Part 1-4 headers so they’re bigger and easier to find lol seriously good job
Wow, this was a wild ride! I noticed that you have the story divided into parts. Something I'm doing with my longer stories on Substack is releasing them in parts so it breaks things up and maybe adds some tension between episodes.
All that aside, this was yet another example of your ability to craft extremely immersive settings. The atmosphere you have is thick and full of tension and detail. I really liked some of the nostalgic details as well (Man do I miss Halo 2, haha).
The descriptions of the monster were also gnarly, in the best way possible. The line about "worms in a water balloon" was amazingly horrific. This was a great piece!
Dude! Thank you for taking the time to read it. It means so much.
Yeah i definitely considered doing four parts but I worried each part would be not interesting enough, I don't know haha.
Thank you again for reading.
Feeeee-NOM-inall! You crushed this story, and have made me a big fan. This is such a well-crafted story: the pacing is excellent, the characters are believable, the dialogue is great — it’s a superb story. You should be very proud of this one. My only advice is to go back in and edit the Part 1-4 headers so they’re bigger and easier to find lol seriously good job
Thank you so much! Also, I knew i messed up those headers. Hahaha.
Seriously thank you. This means the world to me. Makes me feel like a real writer haha.
There’s no doubt about it — this is top shelf stuff.
Wow, this was a wild ride! I noticed that you have the story divided into parts. Something I'm doing with my longer stories on Substack is releasing them in parts so it breaks things up and maybe adds some tension between episodes.
All that aside, this was yet another example of your ability to craft extremely immersive settings. The atmosphere you have is thick and full of tension and detail. I really liked some of the nostalgic details as well (Man do I miss Halo 2, haha).
The descriptions of the monster were also gnarly, in the best way possible. The line about "worms in a water balloon" was amazingly horrific. This was a great piece!
Fuuuck dude so messed up